2 full days and a wakeup

This past weekend was very, very difficult being on a liquid only diet. Mostly because my family was home. I also had to do some grocery shopping.

I never realized how much our society revolves around food. It does. Food is everywhere. It's on the TV. It's in the movies. It's practically on every corner. Adverstisements are everywhere. Food chains are everywhere. It's just everywhere you turn. Like a Monster chasing you in a bad dream. There's no escaping.

Today's a bit easier.

The kids are going w/ us on Friday. I'll have to try to remember to pack them some stuff to do while they're waiting at the hospital.

Today's full of appointments. 2 teacher conferences. Kids get out at 1130 am today. The start of Spring/Easter Break. All 3 kids have dentist appointments today.

I have a ton of stuff I need to do.

I'm sick of the mom's group. Sooo much drama and knit picking. It's nuts! I've changed all of my RSVP's for the next month to NO. Not all because of the drama, but also because of my recovery from surgery. Not to mention most of the stuff I was interested in revolved around food. I had thought the friendships I developed within the group would survive whether I was in the group or not. Now I'm not sure. I feel myself withdrawing from everyone when I'm in the depressed state. I see how I don't exactly fit into the groups activites and stuff. Then I see how my friends just keeping going. Which they should. Eh.

I can hardly wait till our vacation.

Bean's bedroom furniture will be here tomorrow. I've been dealing with this company for over a month now. It arrived damaged. Ended up having to call the BBB on the company we ordered it from to get action. Hopefully, this time the furniture won't be damaged.

Time to start the conferences.

Surgery Date & Update

Okay, it's been forever since I've updated. I'm not writing anywhere else. I figure this is as good a place as any.

First my most recent news:

After jumping thru insurance hoops for the past year, I finally have a surgery date. April 10th I'll be getting my lapband.

I'm excited and scared all at the same time. Mostly excited.

I've been on the liquid diet since Wednesday. It's really not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Today I've been hungry...or at least my thoughts have been revolving around food. I can do this. I have no choice, I have to do this. For myself and for my family.

LT

LT just turned 8 a few weeks ago.

This past week he's been pretty sick. My husband took him to the ER last Wednesday. I thought he just had allergies. Afterall, that's what the Dr. said Bean had just the week before. When he started sleeping around the clock and not eating or drinking at all, I started getting worried. Within just a few hours he seemed to be whithering away before my eyes.

He ended up getting 2 bags of IV fluid while in the ER. They tested him for strep throat and mono. Both tests came back negative. They finally gave the diagnosis of dehydration due to a viral infection. No cures. No meds. No advice.

LT has been having a coughing fit since last night. (Seems to have stopped now.) So, he's going back to see our family dr today.

I hope and pray he's on the upward slope to recovery.

Not sure if I mentioned this before or not. We've decided to hold LT back and repeat the 2nd grade. Long story I might write about another time.

VACATION

We've planned a vacation from June 4th to June 21st. I can't even begin to express how much we're looking forward to this.

We're going to Orlando on the 4th until the 13th. It's kind of a water theme this trip. We plan on visiting Discovery Cove, Sea World, & Aquatica. Our passes for Sea World & Aquatica are good for 14 days. We can visit Busch Gardens in Tampa if we want...our park pass include that park as well.

On the 13th we'll drive from Orlando to Tampa. Then we'll spend 2 nights on St. Petersburg Beach. I'll be happy staying on the beach for the 2 days.

On the 15th we'll board a Carnival Cruise ship. 5 day cruise. We'll visit Cozumel and Mexico. Hubby & Bug will be taking an excursion in Mexico that's like the Amazing Race. I'm not sure what LT, Bean, & I will do yet. We'll use our Cozumel excursion as a family trip.

On the 21st we'll fly home.

The only part of the trip I haven't taken care of yet is our night in a hotel after returning from the cruise. I need to do that and look into pet care.

DA update

Bug finally got so fustrated dealing with her father she forwarded one of his emails to me. Asking me to step in. So, I did.

After a few civil emails back and fourth he's decided to come visit Bug the day after we return from vacation. He says he'll only be here for about 4 or 5 days.

Hopefully I can manage to avoid seeing him & he'll be gone before the 4th of July.

Closing

Can't think of anything else to write. And now it's time to take Bean to pre-k.

Updating

I have several things I want to update on. Thought it would be good to do it all at once.

DA update

Bug cried when reading his email last week. It broke my heart. After alot of heartache and thought she decided not to email him back.

Insurance and weight loss surgery update

I can't remember if I mentioned hubby started a new job back in December. (That's an entry by itself) Which meant our insurance changed.

After multiple phone calls between the dr.'s office and insurance company the ball is finally starting to role again. I had to get on the scales this morning to give the dr. office a current weight. O.M.G!!!!! I waited until my hubby left the house to call them back with the weight.

I'm hoping beyond hope to get a surgery date by March of this year.

Hubby's Job Status

He's still home. Something about problems with his security clearance because of it being renewed. Today has been one month that he's been home.

Okay, he's back and talking none stop...I'll end here.

DA strkes back @ Bug

Son of a BITCH!

Bug took it upon herself to write her father (DA) an email. In that email she told him things that had been bugging her for a long time, as well as asking HIM to come visit her instead of her having to travel there. She told him that it bothered her that he DID NOT ask about her Christmas or what she got, but instead went into detail about what A (her little sister thru DA) got and things A did. Bug took upon herself to tell him what she got. Then she called my cell phone while I was at the ER and said "It would be nice if he acknowledged me."

There was more to the email she sent. She managed to cram alot into one paragraph and kept it rather short.

She had me read the email before she sent it. I told her I thought she did a good job, but she needed to think long and hard before sending it. I warned her that it was going to make him mad and to expect him to send something back.

DA's response was lashing back out at her. He refuses to take any blame for any thing. Such as the conversation about A, christmas presents, etc. He says he never did that and always asks her about school, life, how she is, etc. Then he brings me into the conversation. Not once, but at least twice to blame me for something. He blames me for him not coming to visit her as well as her not going to visit him. He says "your mother doesn't pay for her share of travel like she's supposed to." LIAR!!! I pay for exactly what I agreed to pay for or make arrangements for half her travel. Irreguardless he only pays for HALF of her travel during the summer visits.

He also claimed the only reason they haven't moved closer to her is because of me stating "If we moved closer to you, your mother would just move again." Yeah, like he holds that sort of power over me. Nevermind, I have a husband who works in this area, two other children to consider, AND a house that has a mortgage in an economy that sucks for resale. But in the following sentences he claims he's been at the same company for the past 9 years and can't just leave. Then says T (Bug's stepmother = DA's wife) only has a short time before she graduates college and then they plan on moving here to be closer to Bug.

Frigging Dumb Ass. So, to sum it up. He plans on quiting a job he's been at for 9 years to move to a state with no family or friends in order to be closer to his daughter that's going into high school. Which will include uprooting his 2nd daughter from the only home she's ever known. And also includes making his wife move away from her family in hopes of getting a job here. LOL It wouldn't be long after they got here Bug would be leaving for college. So much for them moving to be closer to her.

It just really pisses me off that he blames Bug for his short comings. It ticks me off that he blames me for everything that's ever gone wrong in his relationship with her. Yeah, he doesn't need any help, he's doing a fine job all by himself.

2009

Happy New Year...2009!

I hope all of you had a great Christmas and a Happy New Year! Ours was good. The holidays in general were stressful to put it mildly. I'm glad it's over.

I never did make out or send Christmas cards. 2nd year in a row I've slacked on that. Kinda like I was waiting for pictures to be done that we just never got around to doing. Next thing I know it's a new year.

My parents came to visit for Christmas. They were here about a week. This was a very stressful visit and spilled over to the next week.

The day after my parents left my stepdaughter came to visit. SD left this morning. Her visit was pretty uneventful...as in no problems from her. The older she gets the more I like her. Wish I could have learned that a long time ago. Looking back it seems like I was the source of any problems we had with her. Maybe...maybe not.

Hubby decided to change jobs. In my opinion it couldn't have come at a worse time....but I didn't feel like I had the right to ask him to wait, so I stayed quiet and let him do what he thought was best. I've known for a very long time how unhappy he was at his job. Which was my main reason for staying quiet. If changing jobs would make him happier then I was all for it. BUT, I wish the change had not happened right smack in the middle of the biggest holiday of the year.

As a result of his changing jobs his paycheck for the new job has not come thru. Luckily he had just enough from his half a paycheck from his old job to cover the mortgage that is automatically deducted from our account.

As a plus he's had the holidays off and has been "working" from home. Hopefully he'll be able to return to work soon.

I'm starting to think all the work and time I put into working towards getting the lapband seems like a waste because of our insurance changing. It's the one thing I've asked for and now it looks like it's not going to happen. Hubby seems to think the new insurance will accept all the loopholes the old insurance had me jump thru. I don't see it happening.

If nothing else happens for the year of 2009, I will fix our budget.

At the moment I'm mad at the dogs. They've chewed up at least 2 new toys Bean got for Christmas. No, we're not getting rid of them...I'm just mad at them.

As happy as I was to see 2008 come to an end, I don't see how 2009 can possibly be any better.

Depression and last minute stuff

Depression sucks. I hate this...I want it to just leave. Anyone who's never suffered thru depression might not fully gasp that it's not something one can help. There's no switch to flip it on or off. It just comes and takes over. Alot of times there's not even a trigger that sets it off.

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On a brighter note, all of my Christmas shopping is done. We're broke, but it's done.

My parents will be in Nashville, TN by Saturday. We're planning on meeting them there to extend our visit with them. We'll be back here on Sunday.

On the downside, I haven't finish wrapping presents or finished grocery shopping for company.

However, the living room is now vacuumed. I should be cleaning instead of typing. But we all know how much I love to clean. Yeah, not so much. Sassy come clean my house for me. I could use your company anyway. Nikki...same for you. Whenever you're not busy call me.

While I feel stress from not getting everything done, I know things will work out. They always do. Somehow, some way they just turn out...even if not exactly as planned.

Last moms group event that I plan on attending until after Christmas is tonight. Group meeting. Tonight should be fun in a way. White elephant exchange. I can't decide if I want to give a bottle of wine w/ a charm or a $20 gift card for The Melting Pot. Shhh, don't tell them.

9 YEARS!

Yesterday my husband & I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. It was good. Our oldest daughter (14) babysat her 2 younger siblings while we went to dinner. We went to the Melting Pot in St. Louis. Had a nice little both meant for just two. Dinner was great. The chocolate was even better.

We ended up buying $50 worth of gift certificates...which doubled their value. I haven't decided what exactly we'll be doing with those yet. The proceeds go to the childrens hospital.

I'm looking forward to the next 50 years with my wonderful hubby!

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The dogs are driving me crazy. Which isn't a far drive. Edward is barking constantly. I need to figure out how to get him to shut up. Yesterday both dogs got out when I thought someone was at the door. The ran all over the entire frigging neighborhood. I swear they were grinning as they ran yelling "I AM FREEEEE AT LAST!!!!" Turds!

We've decided to have them both fixed instead of trying to breed them. I have learned the hard way that raising two dogs at a time is alot harder than just one puppy. Hmmmm, would have thought that might be common sense, huh? Nope, not me...gotta do it the hard way.

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Hubby starts his new job on the 22nd. He's super excited about the change. Whatever makes him happy and there's still a paycheck coming in. :)

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My parents are coming here for Christmas this year. I'll get excited about it when I see them in my living room. We're going to meet them in TN on Saturday the 20th to extend our visit with them. Hopefully, I'll get everything done that needs to be done before hand. Something tells me it won't all get done. I'll just have to keep telling myself...THIS IS FINE, TOO!

I'm pretty much done with all my Christmas shopping. I haven't even begun wrapping stuff yet. Add that to my list of things to do. I have last minute stocking stuffers and ornaments that I need to buy. I found an ornament for my stepdaughter the other day. It's a pretty horse. Now I just need one for each of my 3 kids. I'll have to stop being so picky.

I need to make a list of things to do.

• Clean kids rooms. I'm not going to clean the kids rooms until after tomorrow. We're having a family poker night at our house...so no need to clean when their rooms will be destroyed again.


• Reorganize Kitchen


• Grocery Shopping for holidays


• Finish last minute shopping


• Returns


• move couch to garage


• move trundle bed to downstairs den. (grandmother will be here)


• clean bathrooms, again


• finish laundry (never ending)


• give dogs another bath before leaving for TN


• change sheets on all the beds, again


• wrap presents

I'm sure the list continues.

That doesn't include stuff that will be squeezed in between all that. Like Katie's band concert on Sunday. Stuff within the moms group, etc.

Breathe....